


Taboo (Discontinued)

by cafeakira



Category: Gon Freecss - Fandom, Hunter X Hunter, Killua Zoldyck - Fandom, Killugon - Fandom, Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-08-11 23:10:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7911226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cafeakira/pseuds/cafeakira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a ghoul infested world, deaths have become a daily thing in Tokyo, Japan.</p><p>But what happens when a certain ghoul, Killua Zoldyck, is drawn to an energetic human boy, Gon Freecss, with the intention to kill him & eat him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Unusual Encounter.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Hunter x Hunter & Tokyo Ghoul crossover! 
> 
> Killugon. With a bit of Kaneki x Killua.
> 
> Hope you guys like it.

It was half past ten. Though the city was still bustling with activity, as to be expected of such a city as Tokyo.

A figure dressed in all black, with his head covered by the hood of his cloak, moved lazily along the sidewalk in the 20th ward, his destination unknown.

His stomach ached with hunger and his fists clench at the thought. If only he had reached his prey first, he wouldn't have lost it to another. Now he was forced to begin his hunt again. If only he wasn't so picky with what he ate, he could've easily taken one of these humans he was currently passing.

It's been about a month since he ate satisfyingly, so he needed to eat soon. His hunger was ravishing, almost unbearable.

That's when he smelled it. It was a scent so sweet, so tantalizing, it made his mouth almost water. He sniffed once, twice, before following it. It led him across the street, to a café he frequented often. He found this unusual, as this place catered to those of his kind usually, though it wasn't too odd to find humans coming here. Still.

The bell to the door gave a little tinkle as he entered, announcing his arrival. It's been a few days since he's been here. The baristas, who were of his kind, would give him a polite nod before going back about their work.

He looked around, trying to find the source of that sweet scent and his eyes fall upon a boy, who looked to be about his age, clearly human, and sitting alone at a table, a book in hand, coffee cup upon his table and his brows furrowed in concentration.

He was the definition of beauty. Soft looking tan skin. Small, but well defined and formed. Bright brown eyes full of energy and life; and that sweet, sweet smell, like cherry blossoms.

It engulfed him, enveloped him and he found himself drawn to the boy, making his way towards him. He stops at his table and the boy would look up at him, eyes blinking as he is pulled out of his concentration and a bright smile soon crosses his face once he takes in the figure standing at his table.

"Hello." His voice is energetic, friendly, despite the dark cloak covering the stranger's face. "Can I help you?"

The figure then chose to remove the hood of his cloak, revealing snow white hair, blue eyes the color of rainwater, and pale skin. His gaze is emotionless, expressionless as he looks down at this boy.

"Mind if I sit here?" He asks, his voice calm & cool, as he gestures to the seat in front of the boy.

The boy brightens, clearly delighted to have company. "Not at all!"

"Thank you." He would sit down, folding his hands in his lap in a rather polite manner.

"Might I ask your name?" The boy asks him, closing his book as he gazes curiously at his new guest.

"Killua." The stranger replied stiffly. "Yours?"

"Gon. Gon Freecss!" The boy responded with such enthusiasm, Killua didn't know what to make of it. What was this boy?

"Well Gon. It is certainly nice to meet you." His way of speaking was rather formal, not his usual way.

"Nice to meet you as well Killua! Can I ask why you decided to sit here?"

Killua stiffened slightly. He couldn't very well tell this boy the truth behind his motives so he lied, of course.

"You just seemed like an interesting person. I was intrigued." Well, that wasn't too far from the truth.

Gon seemed rather happy to hear this and he folds his arms neatly on the table. "You look around my age. I'm 14."

"As am I." Killua responded, an almost catlike smile appearing on his face. This was becoming more interesting by the minute.

A barista would then approach their table. It was a girl who looked around her late teens, and not human, from what he could tell. Her smell gave her away. Though only those of his kind can smell it. She seemed rather timid as she nervously asked him what he wanted.

"The usual." He would respond with a sweet smile and she scribbled it down quickly before scurrying away.

"I take it you come here often." Gon said, tilting his head curiously.

"I do." Killua responded, turning his attention back to him. "I've never seen you here before though."

"I just moved here. For school." Gon explained, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "They have a great program here that I'm interested in, in both the high school I'm attending and the college I hope to attend after."

"What program is that?" Killua asked, pretending to be interested, as the barista once again approached them, this time with his coffee which she set carefully on the table before scurrying away again.

"Photography and video. I hope to get into that once I graduate."

"Oh?" He would raise a brow, as if curious, as he picks up his coffee cup and takes a sip from it. "Seems...delightful."

"Mm!" The boy nods, clearly excited about it.

The usual being put in his coffee only made his hunger grow, and he bit his lip, trying to calm it, but to no avail. The boy's scent didn't help him either. It hit him full on in the face, torturing him.

Gon would then look at his watch and jump up suddenly. "It's late. I better get home or my aunt will kill me." He began to gather his things which causes Killua to begin to panic.

"Wait...let me walk you home." He would insist, as he stood up also.

Gon would look up at him, smiling gratefully. "Thanks, Killua. You don't have to though. We just met after all."

"I insist." Killua responded, giving him a dramatic bow. "It is dangerous to walk home alone at this hour after all. Haven't you seen the news?"

Gon would pause in his actions as his gaze darkens. "Yes. I have." His voice was grave. "There have been numerous ghoul attacks in this area."

Killua stiffens as he gives a curt nod. "Exactly. Which is why I can't let you walk home alone."

This would cause Gon to give him another smile and he sighs in defeat. "Well, if you insist." He finishes putting his things back in his bag and adjusts it onto his back, before heading towards the door to exit the café.

Killua puts money onto the table as payment for his coffee, before following the other out.

Once out onto the sidewalk, Gon would turn towards him. "I don't live very far from here." He begins to head down the opposite direction Killua had came from.

"Great." Killua would respond, following close to him as they walked, the boy's scent pulling him in more and more. He could hardly hold back now, but he must. It wasn't the right moment yet.

People became more scarce the closer they got to Gon's home, and soon, there were no people at all and Killua's fingers itched to kill.

Slowing down behind Gon, he licked his lips as he then approaches the boy from the back, his hand reaching out towards him.

"Killua?" Gon would turn suddenly, and what he saw would shock him.

Killua, now red eyed and showing his true ghoul self, had a clawed hand reaching for him.

"K-Killua...?!" Gon would take a quick step back, but ended up tripping and falling onto his bottom as he stared wide eyed at the ghoul in front of him.

Blood scent filled the air from the scrape on Gon's elbow, which he got from his fall. The scent only agonized Killua and drove him near madness.

"Surprised Gon?" Killua hissed with pleasure, his red eyes widening at the sight of the frightened boy at his feet. "I do love that look on my prey when they realize they're about to die." He laughs hysterically before taking a step towards Gon, who doesn't move an inch, though if it was because he was frozen from fear, Killua did not know, nor did he care. This only made him an easy kill.

Now looming over Gon, Killua's kagune would emerge, spreading out behind him, ready to strike. Gon's brown eyes would only widen and a sweet smile plays on Killua's face. "Any last words?"

"You're beautiful..."

Those words came from Gon's lips and caused Killua to freeze. "W-what did you say?"

"That you're beautiful." Gon looked at him, with a look of awe, and wonder, one that Killua confused for fear, moments ago.

Killua backed away, his kagune disappearing back into his body, staring at the boy in bewilderment.

"W-what are you?" His words came out in fear and he ran a hand over his face, his head beginning to throb.

"Killua?" Gon spoke out his name softly, standing up and bringing his hand to cover the wound on his elbow.

The way Gon spoke to him, looked at him, and the way his scent hit him, drove Killua mad, and without another word, he turns around and disappears into the night.


	2. Enter: Ken Kaneki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I made Kaneki a bad guy in this fic, & I realized I've made him somewhat like Hisoka. Still, hope you guys like the story. It will get happier, I promise.

Listlessly, Killua made his way back to his apartment. He could hardly think straight, as Gon's words played around in his head over and over again.

_'You're beautiful.'_

What the hell?! Killua? Beautiful? No one has ever said that to him before. Not even another ghoul. But a human. A human thought he was beautiful, right when Killua was about to end his life and have him for dinner. What the fuck. Was Gon trying to be funny? Or did he really mean it?

Overthinking about it made Killua pull at his hair in frustration. Thanks to him, Killua is going without a decent meal. Again.

"Shit. I'll die at this rate." Killua hisses, his previously formal way of speaking clearly gone.

He shuffles on through the dark streets until he reaches his apartment building and heads inside. His stomach was gnawing with hunger. He really shouldn't go without eating for so long. It made him weak and less capable of fighting off other ghouls for food. This was how it was after all. Survival of the fittest, almost.

As he pushes the button to call down the elevator, he fidgets from one foot to the other. Of course, there was another way to obtain food. The café he frequented, where he met Gon, they often helped provide food for ghouls who couldn't hunt for themselves. But what was the fun in that? Though it seemed he would have no choice. He'll have to go tomorrow.

A sigh of exasperation emits from his lips as the elevator doors finally open and he steps inside. As the doors close and the elevator starts to ascend, he realized he was in a predicament.

A human knew he was a ghoul. A human he failed to kill. This was dangerous. Gon could go to the police, or worse, the CCG. Ghoul investigators. His teeth clench at the thought of them. So many ghouls have died at the hands of the investigators. Including his parents. Killua refused to be one of them. He would have to deal with Gon as soon as possible.

The elevator would then stop at his floor and the doors would open, and he would step out and begin to make his way down the hall to his apartment. He grabbed the doorknob, and he realized it was unlocked. Which meant his roommate was home.

He hisses. Great. He didn't want to deal with him, but he had no choice.

Killua turned the knob and opened the door, stepping inside, removing his shoes and cloak as he kicks the door shut behind him and locking it. Once he hung up his cloak on the coat rack by the door, he silently made his way down the hall and tried to escape to his room without being noticed, but unfortunately, he was caught.

"You're home late." A voice calls to him from the darkened living room.

"Yeah. So?" Killua froze at the sound of the voice, turning once the speaker made his appearance.

Ken Kaneki. 18 years old, half ghoul, half human, but his humanity was long gone by this point.

"I'd watch your attitude if I were you." Kaneki spoke harshly, coming up to stand in front of Killua, grabbing the younger ghoul's chin as he tried to look away from him.

"Tch." A growl rumbled in Killua's throat. "Is it a crime to want to go out on a late night hunt?"

"No. But I do expect you to tell me where you're going and when you plan to be back." Kaneki leaned in close to Killua, his voice hitting the other's ear.

"What are you? My mother? She's dead. Now let me go." Killua desperately tried to escape Kaneki's grasp, but to no avail.

Kaneki then grabbed Killua's arms and pins them up over his head. "Judging by your weakened state, I'm guessing you failed in getting yourself a meal."

Killua glares at Kaneki, struggling in his grasp, but he had a good hold on him and he didn't even manage to budge him.

Kaneki then leaned in to swipe his tongue across Killua's neck and Killua hissed. "Stop it." He was now desperate to escape the other's grasp, but was too weak to even move now.

"You owe me. For taking you in when I could've left you to die." Kaneki growled in his ear and Killua found himself growing submissive towards the other. He hated it. It always happened...

Killua held back a whimper as Kaneki then bit his neck and he felt warm blood dribble down. The older ghoul had become a cannibal in a sense. He didn't eat other ghouls, though he found pleasure in biting Killua while doing dirty things to him. Killua was always powerless to stop him.

Kaneki would then pick up Killua and carry him into his bedroom where he slammed the door shut with his foot before throwing Killua harshly onto his bed. The younger ghoul found his chance to try to crawl away from the other, but Kaneki grabbed his leg and pulled him back, flipping him back over onto his back before pinning his arms over his head again and climbing on top of him, straddling him down.

"Come on, don't be like that." Kaneki mumbles, leaning down to suck on Killua's neck, on the place he had bit earlier.

Tears would start to fall from Killua's eyes and down his cheeks as Gon's words would replay in his head.

_'You're beautiful.'_

Kaneki never said anything like that to him. Never. He only used Killua for his own selfish needs.

A moan would escape Killua, much to his dismay, as the other would continue to suck on his neck.

"That's a good boy." Kaneki whispered in his ear, and it caused a shiver to go up his spine. He then would try to pull down Killua's pants, and since Killua's arms were pinned up, he couldn't stop him.

"S-stop it..." He mumbles out feebly, but he's ignored as Kaneki tosses Killua's pants aside.

"Don't worry, I'll be gentle." Kaneki smirks down at him, as he brings a hand down to rub in between Killua's legs. Killua tries to push his hand away desperately, but Kaneki slaps him and he feels blood in his mouth.

"I'll get you food if you cooperate." Kaneki hisses, and Killua stays silent. He hated this, he wanted to die rather then go through this.

Kaneki brought his lips back down to Killua's neck, leaving bite marks all along his pale skin, while continuing to rub in between Killua's legs, and Killua found himself moaning again, even arching his back. Shit. He couldn't really be enjoying this could he? But it was like Kaneki was controlling him, manipulating him, and he was helpless.

By the time Kaneki finished with him an hour later, Killua had bite marks all over his body, along with bruises. His body normally healed from these things, but in his weakened state, it tended to heal at an excessively slower rate.

Killua weakly made his way back into his room and shut the door before letting himself collapse onto his bed.

Gon's words were the last thing playing in his mind before he passed out.

_'You're beautiful.'_


	3. Gon Freecss, What Are You?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOO, I feel like this chapter came out somewhat shitty, but I hope you guys like it either way & look forward to the next one!

Morning came, and Killua would wake up, his body sore from last night. He would get up from his bed gingerly and walk to his mirror, where he looked at his reflection with a frown.

The bite marks Kaneki gave him hadn't all healed yet and he ran his pale fingers over one still on his neck. "Tch..." How did he end up like this?

Oh right, his parents were stupid enough to get caught by investigators and were killed in front of him. His hands clenched at the thought. Killua would've died as well if Kaneki hadn't found him and took pity on him. Though if Killua knew he was going to become some sex toy to the older ghoul, he would've taken his chance on the streets.

But in reality, he knew he wouldn't have lasted long. He was just a kid.

With a last scowl at his reflection, Killua washed up before changing into a new set of clothes and making his way out to the kitchen. To his relief, Kaneki wasn't home. He left a note on the fridge that said he wouldn't be home till late that night and that he left him food, as promised, in the freezer.

"Asshole." Killua grumbles, scrunching up the note and tossing it in the trash. He was about to throw the food away, but his hunger was so unbearable, he ended up scarfing it up in minutes. Afterwards, he would let himself fall to the floor, punching the refrigerator.

Tears escaped his eyes. Why? Why was he always so weak? Not just with Kaneki, but with other ghouls, when it came to hunting? He hated it.

"Stupid Kaneki." Killua sobbed out, punching the refrigerator again.

After a few minutes, Killua would wipe at his tears and regain his composure. "Alright. I better head to the café and then hunt down Gon." The food Kaneki left him hadn't satisfied him and the sooner he took care of Gon, the better.

Killua left his apartment, locking the door behind him and bringing up the hood of his hoodie to cover his head. As he made his way to the elevator, he stuffed his hands in his pockets with a sigh. What a disaster he found himself in.

About twenty minutes later, Killua arrived at the café, known as Anteiku. Upon entering, who did he see sitting at the very same table as the night before? None other than Gon. Killua froze upon seeing him and Gon looked up when he heard the door open and their eyes meet each other.

Gon looked at him with relief it seemed like and it looked like he was about to stand up when Killua noticed the barista who took his order the night before, waving him over to her.

Killua turned away from Gon and heads over to her.

"Didn't you escort him home last night?" She would hiss, referring to Gon, once he was within earshot. She clearly wasn't shy when alone with other ghouls, Killua knew her well enough to know that. Her name was Touka Kirishima.

Killua's hands clenched and he nodded. "I did.."

"Then? Why is he still alive?! I assume you planned to eat him."

"It's...complicated..." Killua mumbles, glancing at Gon from the corner of his eye. He was watching the two of them talk and Killua quickly turns to face Touka again when she would grab him by the scruff of his hoodie.

"So he knows you're a ghoul?!" She asks this loudly in his ear and he struggles to get out of her grasp. "He needs to go and you know it! You're putting all of us in danger!"

"Don't you think I know that?!" Killua would hiss back, finally escaping her grasp. "I'm working on it!"

"Well, you better 一" She trails off when she notices a bite mark on Killua's neck. "Did he do that to you?"

Killua saw her point to the bite on his neck & he quickly covers it by pulling up his shirt. "You can't think I let a human do that to me." He scoffed.

"I'm not talking about him now. And you know it." Her eyes would sadden slightly and he knew she was referring to Kaneki.

"That's none of your business."

This would cause her to snap. "Of course it is!"

"Well, what do you expect me to do about it?! You're the one who's in love with him! Why don't you tell him something?!" Killua was glaring at her now. "He's beyond saving now and you know it."

Touka would lean away from him, giving him the dirtiest look ever before reaching out to slap him across the face. Killua saw Gon give him a look of shock and took a step towards him before an older man appeared next to Touka. "That's enough."

Killua brought a hand to rub at his cheek, an almost sly like smile appearing on his face. Though it was full of bitterness.

"Sorry, Yoshimura-san..." Touka grumbles under her breathe, though she threw Killua a glare.

"Killua-kun...did you come here just to stir up trouble with Touka-chan?" Yoshimura turned to face Killua.

"Of course not!" Killua would immediately protest, glaring back at Touka before turning to face Yoshimura with a determined expression.

"I...came for some food." He almost seemed ashamed to admit this.

"What? Killing humans isn't as satisfying to you anymore?" Touka would hiss at him before Yoshimura would hold up a hand to silence her.

"I hear that one over there knows you're a ghoul." Yoshimura nodded to Gon, who was still watching them, hesitating. "You do realize the danger of that."

"I know...I know." Killua looked away from them. "I said I would handle it."

"I'm not going to tell about Killua. Or any of you." That was Gon who spoke and Killua jumped slightly, not even noticing that he had approached them.

"Young man...how much of our conversation did you hear?" Yoshimura smiled down at Gon in a rather pleasant manner.

"Enough." He replied, with a glance towards Killua, who would look immediately away from him.

"You expect us to trust you? A human?" Touka would immediately leap down on him, but Gon faces her on without even flinching.

"I do. I don't want to hurt Killua. Or any of his friends."

Killua backs away slightly, staring at Gon in bewilderment.

"What are you?" He asks the boy, a hand pulling at his hair in confusion.

"Me? I'm just Gon Freecss." He gave Killua a bright smile, one Killua found himself drawn to, and at the same time, found himself afraid of it.

"You seriously can't think we should let him live." Touka hissed to Yoshimura who was looking thoughtful.

"Killua. I have a deal for you. It seems to me that you are having difficulty with a certain someone at home." The older man spoke to Killua.

"It's nothing I can't handle." Killua grumbles, looking away as Gon looks at him with concern. He really wanted the boy to stop looking at him like that.

"He's lying." Touka glares at him. "Kaneki. Kaneki does horrible things to him." She rushes over to him and before he could protest, she pulls down the collar of his shirt, revealing the bite marks that hadn't healed yet. "See?"

Gon looks at him, his eyes widening. "Another ghoul did that to you?"

"This doesn't concern you, human. You should be dead right now." Touka immediately turns to him. "Yoshimura, why are you involving him in our conversation?"

"Because it has to do with him too." Yoshimura responded calmly. "Now, as I was saying. Killua. I'll allow you to live here. All you have to do is work here in the café. Food will be provided for you as well."

Killua narrows his eyes at him. "You think Kaneki will let me just up and leave?"

"I'll deal with him. Is he home?"

"No. He's gone until later tonight."

"Great. Touka will help you get your things before he returns."

"WHAT?!" Touka whirls around to look at the older man. "Why should I help him?"

"Because if Kaneki happens to return earlier then planned, you're the only one who can help Killua deal with him." Yoshimura replied simply.

Touka clenches her hands and looks away. "Fine."

Yoshimura continues. "As for you, Gon...Killua. You'll be responsible for him. I'll let you decide." With that, he turns and leaves, leaving both Touka and Killua to stare after him.

"Can't believe this." Touka grumbles before turning to Killua. "Hurry up. I don't have all day." She began to head for the café door.

Killua makes to follow her, trying to ignore Gon, but the boy stops him.

"Killua...You can trust me. Let me help you with your things."

"No." Killua stops walking, his voice hard. "You'll get killed if Kaneki shows up. Though that would be a weight off of my shoulders." That was true. He wouldn't have to worry about Gon telling anyone about him or the others, but the thought of Gon dying...for some reason, he didn't like that.

"Then let's be friends at least.." Gon takes a step towards him, a determined look on his face.

Killua turns to look at him. "You're joking right? I'm a ghoul. I could easily kill you as could Touka and others. Humans aren't supposed to know who we are."

"I don't care what you are, Killua. I know you're better than what you make yourself to be, ghoul or not...I want to get to know you."

Killua took a step back away from him, staring at Gon in a mixture of confusion and bewilderment.

"Gon Freecss...what the hell are you?"


	4. Temptations

"Took you long enough." Touka would hiss at him when Killua would finally exit the café about ten minutes later. "I don't got all day you know."

"Sorry." Killua mumbled, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"Honestly." She would turn around and began to walk. "Can't believe we're letting that human live."

Killua's fists clenched inside his pockets, but he says nothing. He didn't have the strength to fight Touka in his still hungry state, so he fumed silently.

As they walked to his apartment, thoughts whirled through Killua's mind. He had been so ready to eat Gon last night without thinking twice about it. Now, the thought of the other boy being killed made him feel angry, protective, and he had no idea why. He never thought about a human as anything but food. So why was Gon different?

_'You're beautiful.'_

_'Then, let's be friends at least.'_

_'I want to get to know you.'_

Gon's words would go through his mind, over and over again. Ugh. Why couldn't he stop overthinking about it all? And why couldn't he stop thinking about Gon? The boy has been on his mind since last night. It was infuriating him.

Killua grinded his teeth in frustration. "Tch."

"What's wrong with you?" Touka would look over her shoulder, throwing him a glare.

"Nothing." He mumbles, beginning to walk faster, so he passes her. "Let's just get this over with."

"You read my mind." She grumbles, following behind him.

The rest of their walk was in silence, though Killua didn't mind that. Him and Touka weren't exactly friends.

To his relief, his apartment building soon loomed in front of them, and anxiously, he headed into it, glancing around nervously, as if expecting Kaneki to appear out of thin air.

"Oh, honestly." Touka pushes him aside as she enters the building. "You're being a wuss."

A growl rumbled in his throat. "If you knew everything I go through here, you'd understand."

He saw her hands clench and shake slightly and he was prepared for her to whirl around to punch him, but to his surprise, she didn't.

"Let's just go. Hurry up." She hissed, stomping to the elevator.

With a sigh, Killua rubbed the back of his head and followed her, pushing the button to call down the elevator and the doors would soon open minutes later and he heads inside of it, pushing the button to his floor once Touka followed him in.

The ride up to his floor was made in an awkward silence, the only sounds to be heard was their breathing. So once the doors of the elevator opened again, a sigh of relief would escape Killua, and he was the first to step off, followed by Touka.

"Well, here we are." He mumbles, finally breaking the silence, as he opens the door to his apartment and lets her in.

Touka would walk pass him, not bothering to remove her shoes as she walked all the way inside. "Cleaner then I expected." She grumbles, turning to look at him. "So where's your room so we can get this over with."

Killua would close the door behind him before showing her his room, where she'd push past him again to step inside.

It took a little over an hour to pack all of Killua's clothes and other things in the bags available. They must have looked quite a sight as they left the apartment building with all those bags.

Once back at Anteiku, Gon was not in the café, much to Killua's relief. Touka showed him to an available room upstairs, before dumping his stuff in it and escaping. A hiss of annoyance would escape him as he was left to unpack on his own.

It took the rest of the day for Killua to settle in, and just as he was about finished, his phone goes off in his pocket and he reaches inside to fish it out. Upon seeing who the text message was from, he would freeze.

It was Kaneki.

**I see you decided to escape from me.** It read.

Killua shook slightly, and goes to lock his phone without replying, when his phone goes off again.

**Meet me in the alley a couple blocks from Anteiku. You won't like what will happen if you refuse.**

His thoughts immediately whirl to Gon. Did Kaneki know about him? Or did he mean Touka? Either way, he couldn't refuse him. A sick feeling began to overtake him, as if he ate human food. He had no choice.

Abandoning his task, Killua would head downstairs to the café. Touka was back to work and she would glance at him, but he would look away quickly, before making his leave.

He did not expect to run into Gon, once he was outside.

"Killua!" Gon looked delighted to see him. "I'm sorry I left, my aunt needed me for something, but I came back to check on you."

This was bad. He couldn't tell Gon where he was going.

"Sorry, Gon." Killua pushes past him. "I have somewhere to be."

But Gon would reach out to grab his wrist. "You're not hunting are you?"

A growl would escape him. "If I am or not, is no business to you. I'm a ghoul. What you expect?"

Gon's hold on Killua would tighten, much to his surprise. "You're better than that, Killua." The boy's voice sounded low, almost angry.

Killua was about to snap at him, when his phone would go off again, and using his free hand, he'd check it.

It was Kaneki again.

**I don't have all day.**

"Who's that?"

That's when Killua realized Gon was looking over his shoulder at his phone and he quickly locks it.

"None of your business." He scoffs, pulling his arm out of Gon's grasp as he had loosened his grip.

The look Gon then got on his face slightly made Killua fearful. He looked so...angry.

"It's that ghoul who's been hurting you, isn't it?"

Killua says nothing, and turns to leave, but Gon blocks his path.

"I won't let you, Killua."

"Move Gon." Killua's own voice grew dangerous as he made to lung at the boy, before someone grasped the back of his shirt.

It was Mr. Yoshimura.

"Killua." He says calmly. "What are you doing? You should be resting, as I'm having you start work tomorrow."

Killua stiffens, before pulling himself out of the older man's grasp. "Yes, sir." He grumbles, and without even a glance back in Gon's direction, he would disappear back into Anteiku.

Gon was left alone with Yoshimura. "Ummm...Mr. Yoshimura?" He began hesitantly. "Can you give me Killua's number?"

* * *

Once back up to his room, Killua slams his door shut, before letting himself fall face first onto his new bed. What will Kaneki do now?

He didn't have long to ponder that thought as he heard a knock on the sliding door that led out to the balcony behind his room and Killua lifts his head in confusion.

That's when he saw a familiar figure standing outside the doors. His breathe almost caught in his throat and his heart started to pound. Without realizing it, his body started to move on it's own and went to open the doors.

"Took you long enough." Kaneki said, stepping inside his room.

"K-Kaneki..." Killua stuttered out, taking a step back from the older ghoul as he slid the doors shut behind him. "W-what...?"

"I figured you'd have trouble meeting me, so I came here." Kaneki grabbed Killua's chin roughly as the younger ghoul tried to look away from him. "You thought you could escape me didn't you?"

Killua says nothing, his body starting to feel numb.

Kaneki pushes Killua back up against the wall, his lips instantly going for Killua's neck. "You can't escape me, Killua." He then would bite down on Killua's neck, causing him to cry out.

"N-ngh. Stop it..." Though his words said one thing, his body was giving up on him, succumbing to Kaneki.

Kaneki ignored him and continued to bite him, warm blood now dribbling down Killua's neck.

Weak and fatigued now, Killua found himself being picked up and carried back to his bed, where he's thrown onto it harshly. He makes no move to escape, his body feeling needy...as if it were wanting Kaneki. What was going on?

Of course, the other gave his body what it wanted, and next thing Killua knows, he's being undressed. A shiver would go up his spine as he felt the cool air hit his now naked body.

Kaneki would lean over him, his hot breathe hitting his ear as he spreads Killua's legs.

A sharp pain would then shoot up Killua's spine and he cries out, though Kaneki would clamp a hand over Killua's mouth, so he wouldn't be heard. Tears would escape his eyes and slide down his cheeks, as the older ghoul thrusted into him over and over again.

When Kaneki finally finished, almost two hours later, Killua was lying on his stomach, feeling thoroughly weak and violated. Kaneki would come to place a kiss onto Killua's cheek as he whispers into his ear.

"I'll be back again real soon.."

And with that, he was gone.

Sobs would then escape Killua as he buried his face into a pillow and cried.

The last thing in his mind before he blacked out, was Gon's bright smiling face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I by no means support rape, but what happens to Killua is necessary for where I want my story to go, as Gon plays an important part in it, so please don't hate me!! Dx


	5. Darkness

Killua woke up the next morning, to a pounding on his door. Head throbbing, he sat up, rubbing it with his hand as he gingerly stood up to head for the door as he heard Touka shouting from the other side.

"Wake up, you shit! You're already late for your first shift and I need to go to school!"

He then froze, when he remembered what happened last night and looks down at himself. His body had new marks all over it from Kaneki, and he was still naked.

Frantically, he ran to his closet to dig for some clothes, deciding on a turtle neck that would hide his bite marks on his neck, and some shorts.

Finally answering his door, Touka stood on the other side, the look of a demon on her face.

"Are you fucking deaf or something?!" She demanded, pushing him roughly. "I brought your uniform, so hurry up and get changed. Mr. Yoshimura is waiting for you." She was about to turn and leave when she paused and looked over her shoulder at him. "It's hot as hell in here, so why are you wearing a turtle neck?" Her eyes narrow suspiciously.

"No reason." Killua replies hastily, taking the uniform from her quickly. "I'll go get changed." But before he could head for the bathroom, she grabs the collar of his turtle neck and tugs it down, revealing his new marks.

Her voice shook dangerously. "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! THESE ARE NEW!"

Killua pulls away from her. "It's nothing."

"Don't fucking give me that shit! He was here last night?! Why didn't you say something?!"

His hands clench. "What would you have done?"

"Sometimes I feel like you love when he does that shit to you!" She was about to push him, but he drops the uniform to grab a hold of her wrist and tightens his grip.

"Are you jealous, Touka?" Killua had an evil, sly smile on his face as he spoke.

Touka flinches, before using her free hand to slap him across the face. "Asshole..." Pulling herself out of his grip, she turns around and stomps out of his room, slamming the door behind her.

Killua collapses onto the floor, tears escaping his eyes and running down his cheeks. It took him a moment to compose himself, but once he did, he stood up, and picked up his uniform from the floor before heading to the bathroom.

He stood in front of his mirror looking at his reflection. He really did look like shit these days. After removing his turtle neck, he ran his pale fingers over the fresh marks on his neck. It really annoyed him how they didn't heal as fast as his wounds usually did. With a scowl, he splashes cold water onto his face a few times before drying it off with a towel, which he threw onto the floor afterwards.

After dressing into the Anteiku uniform, he observed his reflection once more in the mirror and sighed. Well, it wasn't too horrid looking, he supposed. Not much he could do about his naturally messy hair, so he just ran a hand through it before leaving his room and heading downstairs.

When he reached the café, he froze upon seeing Mr. Yoshimura and Touka waiting for him.

Mr. Yoshimura was standing behind the counter, turning to stare at him when he heard Killua come down. Meanwhile, Touka was glaring at him with pure hatred.

"Killua." Mr. Yoshimura began calmly. "Care to explain what happened last night?"

Killua stiffened and immediately returned Touka's glare.

"Killua." Mr. Yoshimura spoke again. "Did Kaneki visit you last night?"

Killua turns his face away from the both of them, and clenched his fists, but doesn't reply.

Mr. Yoshimura sighs and walks out, making for the door that led upstairs. "Get to work. I'll be back. Irimi will be teaching you the way we do things here." And with that, he disappears upstairs.

The sound of a chair being scooted back made Killua turn to see Touka leaving. As she opened the door to head out, she paused and glared at Killua again.

"Don't screw things up, asshole."

Once she was gone, he heard Irimi approach him with a kind smile. "Ready for the day?"

"Sure, I guess." Killua mumbles, rubbing the back of his head as he followed her behind the counter.

* * *

 

The day was rather rough for Killua. He made a dozen mistakes, due to his mind being in a dark place. When Mr. Yoshimura had returned, he let Killua know he had boarded up the doors that led to the porch behind his room. He hated the feeling of keeping Killua confined, but he said it was for his protection.

This had made Killua almost snap at him. He didn't need protection. Besides, wouldn't Kaneki get to him one way or another if Killua went out hunting?

But Mr. Yoshimura said there was no need for him to go hunting. He would get food here.

Nonetheless, it put Killua in a foul mood all day. He was like a bird in a cage now. Why were they going through all this trouble to protect him?

His phone vibrating in his pocket brought him out of his angry thoughts and he brings it out to see he had a text message from an unknown number.

**Killua. It's me. Gon. Sorry. I asked Mr. Yoshimura for your number. I want to see you, so I'll be going to Anteiku tonight.**

Killua scoffed. Gon never gave up did he? That stubborn idiot. Getting involved with ghouls would be his downfall. Not that he cared.

Or did he? Last night, he had been so prepared to go see Kaneki to protect Gon in case the older ghoul knew about him. But why did Killua want to protect Gon? He was a human! One he had been prepared to eat, and still wanted to! Didn't he?

Confusion overcame him as he thought of the boy. Ever since first meeting Gon, Killua didn't know what he wanted anymore. It aggravated him. Angered him.

"Tch." A growl rumbled in his throat as he stuffed his phone back into his pocket. He would make sure to escape somehow to go hunting tonight before Gon came.

After his shift ended a few hours later, Killua disappeared back upstairs to change out of his uniform, staring at the boarded up doors afterwards. Surely Mr. Yoshimura didn't think this would keep Killua in and Kaneki out, did he?

But when Killua tried to remove them, he couldn't. Not without making a lot of noise. That's when he realized what Mr. Yoshimura had done. If these boards were broken, it would make a lot of noise. Alerting everyone in Anteiku. Touka lived here; her room was next to his.

He clenched his teeth in annoyance. He would not allow himself to be trapped here. The hell with Kaneki!

Making his way downstairs, he poked his head out from behind the door, scanning the café. When he saw Irimi distracted with a customer and Mr. Yoshimura gone, he quickly and quietly dashes for the exit and makes his way outside. He doesn't stop running until he's a good distance from the café.

With a sigh of relief, he looks up at the sky to notice that it would be dark soon. The perfect time for a good hunt. A smirk crosses his features as he then blends in with the crowd of people along the sidewalk, his eyes looking around for a good prey. That's when he sees her.

She was of average height. Brunette, pretty. Nice clear skin. But what he noticed the most was her sweet scent. The scent was always important to him.

He licks his lips as he then approaches her from behind, unnoticed as she walks along. To his relief, she was alone.

With his eyes darkening, he continues following her, watching as she turns down a darkened street, one where the street lamps were flickering on and off.

Perfect.

Remembering what happened to him last night and the night before, and the reason he was out here in the first place, put his already dark mind in a darker place.

So without hesitation, his kagune emerges, just as the woman turned around, her eyes widening in shock. But before she could scream, his kagune goes through her body, killing her instantly.

There was an emotionless look on Killua's face as he then approaches her body, gazing down at her with that still dark look in his eyes.

After retracting his kagune back into his body, he starts eating her, right then and right there. It was so satisfying, finally having a decent meal. He almost laughed.

It wasn't until a few moments later, that he heard a voice behind him. One that was all too familiar to him now.

"Killua?"

Killua froze, dropping the woman's body, or what was left of it at least, and stood up, slowly turning to face Gon, blood dribbling down his chin.

Gon was looking at him with pure shock and a smirk would cross Killua's face then.

"Ne, Gon. Still think I'm better than I make myself to be?"

Gon didn't reply. He just took a few steps back, before turning around and fleeing.

Killua ran a hand over his face with a laugh. Good. Now maybe he would leave him alone.

How very wrong he was.

Upon returning to Anteiku, he noticed the closed sign out front and frowned. It was still a bit early to close, wasn't it?

Though he just shrugged before heading inside, glad the front door wasn't locked yet.

Waiting for him inside were Mr. Yoshimura, Irimi, Koma, Touka....and Gon.

All of them had rather darkened expressions on their faces, except Gon. He was just looking at Killua fearfully and to his annoyance...with concern.

"Killua." Mr. Yoshimura spoke, though his tone this time held a hint of anger, one he's never heard before. "I thought I told you that you weren't allowed outside."

Killua rolled his eyes. "You can't keep me locked up in here. I'll go mad."

"You idiot! What if Kaneki found you?!" Touka took a step towards him angrily, but Mr. Yoshimura stopped her.

"I hear you had a bit of a meal tonight."

Killua's gaze instantly falls on Gon, and his eyes narrow. "Why is a human involved in a ghoul meeting anyways?" He scoffs.

"Killua. I will not repeat myself again. You are not allowed outside until I say so." Now Mr. Yoshimura really was angry. "Your actions not only put you in danger, but all of us. The CCG will find out about that woman and invade the 20th ward to investigate."

His fists clench and he turns away from them, no longer saying a word.

"Go upstairs to your room please and don't come down until I come get you tomorrow." Mr. Yoshimura looks at him with a hardened expression.

A growl rumbles in the back of Killua's throat and without a glance at Gon, he stomps up the stairs to his room.

Much to his surprise and annoyance, Kaneki was sitting on his bed.

"What the hell?! How did you get in here?!"

"The window in the bathroom. I actually fit through it." Kaneki replied with a smirk.

"Well leave. I'm not in the mood today." Killua was about to grab Kaneki's arm to pull him off of his bed, but the older ghoul pushes him onto the ground and straddles him.

"I'd behave if I were you." Kaneki leans down to lick the side of his mouth. "Looks like you had an actual meal today."

Killua squirms beneath him. "Get off, you idiot!" Even with food in his stomach, Kaneki's strength surpassed his greatly.

"Not until I'm done with you." He runs a hand up Killua's leg, causing him to shiver. "Please. Not today." Killua begged, instantly becoming submissive towards him. He was no match for Kaneki.

"Oh? Why not? You seemed to want it yesterday." Kaneki was already removing Killua's pants, even though Killua tried to pull them back up.

"I...didn't." Killua whimpered, when the older ghoul successfully removed his pants.

"That's too bad." Kaneki flips him over onto his stomach and Killua tries to crawl away, but he is pulled back. "Behave, and I won't hurt that human pet of yours."

Killua stiffens. So he did know about Gon. But why should Killua care? Gon could die for all he cared. But he realized that he cared very much, and he didn't know why.

He heard Kaneki unzip his pants and tears started to fall down his cheeks. Why? Why did he have to go through this?

Kaneki then loomed over him, pulling off Killua's shirt so he could bite into his shoulder, causing Killua to wince and whimper, biting back his lip so he wouldn't cry out louder.

His waist is then pulled upwards so his ass is sticking up in the air and next thing he knows, Kaneki is inside him and he couldn't hold back this cry, though the older ghoul was quick to cover his mouth.

More tears fell down his cheeks as Kaneki thrusted into him harshly, his body instantly becoming weak, leaving him unable to defend himself. More bites were given on his neck and shoulders, blood dribbling down his pale skin. It was a feeling he grew so used to.

Killua wasn't sure how long it took for Kaneki to finish, but when he did, he left Killua on the floor, leaving him to get up on his own.

_'You're beautiful.'_

Once again, Gon's words played in his head and he began to cry.

Who was Gon and why did he care so much for Killua? Was he stupid?

No one has ever cared for him, not even his parents. At least, that's what he thought of them.

Weak and fatigued, Killua headed for the bathroom, running the bath with warm water before getting in it and passing out.


	6. The Broken Ghoul

When Killua would wake up the next morning, he found himself still in the tub, his skin wrinkly from being in the water all night. Weakly, he'd drag himself out of the tub, letting it drain before feebly grabbing a towel and wrapping it around himself.

Upon walking past the mirror, he turned to look at his reflection. He had shadows under his eyes and the marks on his body stood out prominently on his pale skin. Punching at the glass until his knuckles bled, he dragged himself to his bedroom where he slowly dried off, wiping his towel briefly over his hands to clean up the blood before getting dressed. He was supposed to work today, but he wouldn't show. Instead, remembering what Kaneki said last night about coming in through the window in the bathroom, Killua would head back into it and open the window, sticking a leg through it before pushing the rest of his body out.

Guess Mr. Yoshimura hadn't thought everything through.

Being on the second floor, it wasn't a long drop, but he was too weak to land on his feet, so he landed on his back, having the wind knocked out of him.

Laying on the ground almost in defeat, he'd stare up at the sky above him, tears stinging the back of his eyes. He'd wipe at them in annoyance before getting up, ignoring the pain it caused him, before heading into the city.

Unsure of where he was heading exactly, Killua walked blankly, ignoring his surroundings and the cries of protests of the people he ran into. Completely in a dark place, he wanted to hunt. To kill. To show everyone they had a reason to fear ghouls. His hands twitching in anticipation, he headed into an alley, to hide himself so he could attack an unsuspecting victim.

He didn't expect that the first person he would see would be Gon.

"Killua?" Gon froze upon seeing Killua as he walked passed the alley, spotting the ghoul before he was able to hide himself. "I thought you weren't allowed out." He stepped into the alley, approaching Killua with that same look of concern he always threw him.

Killua was getting tired of that look. He grabbed Gon's wrist and threw him into the alley, causing the boy to roll over on the hard concrete harshly.

"Ngh..." Slightly bleeding from his arms and knees, Gon sat up feebly. "K-Killua...?"

Killua was now approaching Gon, his eyes red as his kagune slowly emerged from his back.

Though fearing for his life, Gon gazed at Killua steadily. "I know you're better than this."

"You don't know me at all." Killua growled. One of the tentacles from his kagune slowly reached out for Gon, rubbing the bottom of his neck.

Gon still didn't flinch and his gaze hardened, not saying a word. Killua willed himself to kill him, but just as he was about to strike, he would collapse onto his hands and knees, his kagune retracting back into his body. His head lowered in between his arms, he began to sob loudly.

Gon, his hardened gaze softening upon hearing the other begin to cry, reached out towards him, pausing when Killua spoke.

"I can't take this anymore..." He croaked out in between sobs. "I want to die..."

Gon immediately jumped in at this. "Don't say that!"

Killua sobs awhile more, before sitting up and wiping at his tears with the back of his hand. "I can't do this, Gon. I've suffered my whole life. My parents didn't give a shit about me. Kaneki abuses me. I have nothing. No one. You don't know the hardships of being a ghoul."

The other boy stares at him in distraught before reaching out and quickly pulling Killua into a hug.

This takes Killua by surprise and his eyes widen as Gon's arms tighten around him. "I may not know a thing about what ghouls go through, but I do know one thing." He pulls away from him and holds him back slightly, his brown eyes soft. "I know you have feelings. Worries. I know you're a boy my age who is different from me, but still a boy nonetheless. I know you hurt, you cry. You feel pain, fear. You can laugh, smile, just like anyone else."

Killua stares at Gon with a look of confusion, mixed with awe, surprise and even slight fear. He doesn't say a word and Gon continues.

"I also know you're kind beneath that harsh exterior, and have a shy side. And most of all...I know you're beautiful."

There it was. The two words that hasn't left Killua's mind since the night he met Gon.

_'You're beautiful.'_

That's when the ghoul realized that those two words were what got him through the hardships and pain of the last few days.

He stares blankly at Gon, unsure of what to say until the other stands up and offers a hand down to him.

"Now what do you say I take you home now so we can talk?"


	7. Let Me In

Killua trailed after Gon slowly as they headed back for Anteiku, his mind empty and listless. Though Gon would talk to him the whole way back, Killua wouldn't reply. He just didn't know what to say to the other boy anymore.

When they reached the café, Gon and Killua would enter. Mr. Yoshimura was there, along with Touka and the other employees.

"Told you he had escaped!" Touka pointed an accusing finger at Killua, and for once, he didn't respond nor talk back to her.

"Um. Mind if I talk to him first?" Gon asked them, his voice confident.

"What makes you think he'll listen to you, human?" Touka would immediately whirl around on him.

"To be fair, I did get him back here." Gon pointed out.

Her eye twitched in annoyance, but before Touka could speak again, Mr. Yoshimura took a step forward. "I do feel like he won't listen to anyone but you at this point."

Gon nodded, turning to face Killua. "Want to take me to your room?"

Killua would just nod silently, before heading for the stairs and up to his room.

"It's this one." He mumbled softly, pushing the door open and allowed Gon to step inside before following him in.

"It's like a mini apartment!" Gon exclaimed, exploring Killua's living space. "Mr. Yoshimura was nice to let you live here."

Killua stayed silent as he leaned back against his door and watches Gon with his blue eyes. His gaze was expressionless.

Gon eventually turned around to face Killua again and gave him a gentle smile. "Sit down so we can talk." He'd perch himself on Killua's bed and pat the spot next to him.

Hands in his pockets, Killua would join Gon on the bed, but would keep his gaze averted, opting to look towards the ground silently.

Gon was the first to speak. "Killua...I know you don't trust me, but I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to be friends."

"Why do you?" Killua finally spoke, his fists clenching inside his pockets.

"I told you already. To me, you're not just a ghoul. None of you are. Though, just like there are bad people, there are bad ghouls too." His brows furrow as he thought of how to explain his thoughts to Killua. "I don't know how to word it to you, but there's just something about you that keeps bringing me back to you."

"That's not a good thing, Gon. I'm a ghoul. I almost killed you. You should hate me." Killua's voice was low, slightly shaky.

"But you didn't, Killua." Gon took his arm, pulling his hand out of his pocket and giving it a squeeze, which made the ghoul jolt. "So let me in, please. I want to be friends."

Killua stiffened, looking away. Gon made his life complicated. Ever since meeting him, Killua hasn't been sure of anything, hasn't been sure about how he feels. Why was this human so insistent on being a part of his life?

It would've been much easier to think if Gon's smell wasn't hitting him in the face.

"You should leave, Gon. I may have fed, but your smell is torturing me."

Gon frowned. "You still need to eat more to become stronger, don't you?" He pulls down his shirt, exposing his neck and shoulder. "Here. Even a little helps right?"

Seeing Gon's tan bare skin was almost too much for Killua to bare. He covers his nose with his hand, in an attempt to shield it from Gon's sweet smell.

"Don't do that, Gon. Just leave please. I don't know if I can stop myself from leaving you dry."

"I want to help you, Killua. I trust you."

Killua stares at Gon's skin again, the smell pulling him in. Without hesitating any further, he pulls Gon into his lap, the boy's back against his chest and leaned down to bite into his shoulder. He felt Gon wince beneath him and let out a grunt, but he didn't complain.

The instant Gon's blood entered his mouth, Killua felt like he was brought to heaven. It enveloped him in ways his food never had.

He bit into Gon's shoulder deeper, holding him tightly as he would then squirm, taking a bit more before willing himself to stop, pushing Gon away before he killed him.

"Jees..." He wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand. "I felt like a vampire for a second."

"Well, even blood helps right?" Gon was about to pull his shirt back up before Killua stopped him.

"Stop, baka! Clean it up first!" Killua hissed, getting up with a sigh. "Honestly." He makes his way to the bathroom, returning moments later with a wet cloth and a first aide kit.

Gon beams at him brightly, and Killua frowns as he sets the kit on the bed, beside Gon. "What?"

"You're going to clean up the bite. That shows you're better than you think." Gon's grin would only widen after he spoke. How he could smile so widely was a mystery to Killua.

"I guess." Killua scoffs as he wipes at the blood on Gon's shoulder, leaving it clean before bandaging it. "I hope that's good enough."

Gon glances at his shoulder as he pulls up his shirt. "I think it is. My shirt covers it anyhow so your friends won't notice."

"They're not my friends." Killua grumbles, putting away the kit back in the bathroom before coming back and sitting down with a sigh.

"Well they seem to care about you."

A loud laugh would emit from Killua. "Touka does not care about me and Mr. Yoshimura is just trying to keep me under his watch so I don't bring the CCG down on us."

Gon's brows would furrow as a frown appears on his face. "Touka does care, she just has a funny way of showing it I think. Why else would she make a big deal out of Kaneki abusing you?"

"Easy. Cause her and Kaneki were a thing before he lost his mind."

"I'm sure there's more to it than that."

"If you say so." Killua shrugged. "How do you explain Mr. Yoshimura then?"

"He's not just keeping you under his watch cause of the CCG. I think he's genuinely trying to protect you."

Killua blinked at Gon. "You're really strange, you know that? Why would he want to protect me?"

Gon tilts his head. "Same reason as why he's protecting Touka and helps other ghouls I guess. Though I also think there's more behind his motives."

Killua scratches his cheek thoughtfully. "I guess so. Thinking too much right now is exhausting. Your smell really is more powerful now after tasting it."

"Sorry!" Gon jumps up, an apologetic look on his face.

"Why are you apologizing for, idiot? I'm the one who drank some from you like I'm some sort of vampire, which isn't any better than a ghoul, mind you. I'm the one who should be apologizing." He runs a pale hand through his hair.

Gon looks at him thoughtfully before approaching him, close enough for him to reach out and place a tan hand on Killua's pale cheek, which caused the ghoul to flinch. It was like after everything Kaneki has done to him, a simple, gentle touch from Gon was enough to make him fearful, panic even.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Killua." Gon says softly, and Killua finds himself unable to pull away from the gaze of the boy's bright brown eyes. "Trust me." A tan thumb gently strokes Killua's cool lips, making him gulp, anxious, unsure of what to expect. He's never been caressed like this before.

Blue eyes stare into brown for a moment until Gon's hands cup Killua's pale, but lightly flushed cheeks, as the boy leans forward and next thing Killua knows, Gon's lips are pressed against his own.

His normally cold body is instantly on fire, not literally, but it's what it felt like, as Gon moves his lips against Killua's gently. The ghoul has never experienced such a sensation before. What he felt when he drank Gon's blood was nothing compared to what he felt now. His cheeks burned with blush, his hands are placed awkwardly at the boy's small waist and his smell; Gon's smell enveloped him, but not in a way that made him crave it. It was more in a way that made him want to keep savoring it, protect it. Protect Gon.

These past few days, Killua had no idea what to think or feel about Gon, and now with a simple kiss from him, it was like everything became clear.

He was in love with him.

Killua was in love with Gon.

A ghoul was in love with a human.

It was something that never occurred, for it was unnatural, frowned upon, taboo even.

But when has Killua ever followed the rules?

The kiss lasted for a moment longer until it finally broke, both boys pulling apart and gasping for air. Killua was left in a daze, his eyes in slits until he managed to open them fully to find Gon gazing at him in a way that no one has ever gazed at him before.


	8. Gon and Killua

Killua pulls away from Gon then, feeling his cheeks burn with embarrassment. "Maybe that wasn't a good idea..."

A saddened look crosses Gon's features. "You didn't like it?..."

"Of course I did!" Killua shouts out, before realizing what he said and looks away, rubbing the back of his neck.

Gon then straightens up and takes Killua's hand, leading him over to the bed where he crawls onto it, until he's in the middle of it and pulls Killua after him.

"Gon...?" Killua spoke Gon's name out nervously as he's now seated in between his legs, his own legs over Gon's.

Gon just smiled at him and leaned close enough to whisper in his ear. "Let me show you how you should really be treated." His voice was slightly husky; it made Killua's skin feel like it was on fire.

Images of Kaneki touching him went through his head and it made him tremble as Gon gently lifted up his chin. "Gon..."

"I'm not like him, Killua. I'm not going to force myself on you, you know..." Gon sighs and pulls away. "But I understand why you're like this..."

A feeling of guilt would then overcome Killua and he'd nuzzle into Gon, wanting to feel the boy's warmth. "I'm sorry." He mumbled, his face in the crook of Gon's neck.

"I should be sorry when I know you're traumatized with others touching you..." Gon rubs Killua's back gently. "I just like you, Killua..."

Upon hearing these words, Killua straightens up to stare at Gon in disbelief. "You like me?"

"Mhm." Gon nods, looking down shyly. "More than a friend type of thing..."

"But I'm-"

"You're a ghoul, I know." A sigh emits from Gon's lips. "I don't care about that Killua. I told you already."

Killua stays silent for a moment, looking down into his lap. He wanted to feel loved for once, special, important...by someone who really cared about him. Taking a deep breathe, a look of determination in his blue eyes, he lifts his head again, snaking his arms around Gon's waist before pressing his lips onto Gon's.

His whole body is instantly set aflame. His normally cool skin was now hot. And Gon's lips...Gon's lips were so sweet and soft, that Killua immediately presses his own cool, pale lips more roughly onto them.

Gon squirmed in surprise at first, but seconds later, would immediately relax, succumbing himself to the kiss, his own hands slipping up to cup Killua's face as they kissed.

This wasn't like anything Killua had ever experienced before. The only person he had ever kissed was Kaneki, and it wasn't his choice. It was always forced by the other ghoul and it was never gentle and passionate like the one Killua was having with Gon right now.

A soft, sweet sound would escape Gon then, and Killua would furrow his thin brows, wondering what it was until he realized it was a moan. His cheeks go red as he realizes his tongue had slipped into Gon's mouth without him noticing.

"Killua..." His name is said breathlessly by the other and it sends a tingle up his spine. A familiar feeling comes in between his legs and he notices he was now in the mood.

Killua bites his lip in embarrassment as he pulls away from Gon and curses his hormones.

Gon opens his eyes, still dazed from the kiss. "What's wrong, Killua?"

Hands placed on his hardened member, Killua looks at him frantically. "N-nothing."

Noticing his hands, Gon smiles almost knowingly and pushes Killua's hands aside. "Oops..." He lets out a giggle, realizing what Killua was trying to hide.

_Fuck, he's just so cute._ Killua thought, staring at the giggling Gon. It was enough to make his member twitch.

"I can help you." Gon chirped, almost in a childlike manner as he began to rub Killua's length.

A jolt immediately shoots through Killua. "Ngh...Gon. Don't do that." The feeling of Gon's hand rubbing in between his legs brought back a memory of Kaneki doing that to him but he shakes his head to clear the thought. This wasn't Kaneki. It was Gon. He eventually gives in; the feeling was just too good, and he tilts his head back, his breathing accelerating.

"Too bad these are in the way..." Gon murmurs, pausing in his actions to tug on Killua's shorts and Killua brings his head back forward, biting his bottom lip before nodding, giving permission.

Gon immediately unbuttons and unzips Killua's shorts and tugs them off, along with his underwear. Feeling the cool air of his room hit his bare bottom half, Killua blushed as he watches Gon stare at his hardened length before deciding to remove his own shorts.

Killua could hardly believe his eyes. Gon was now naked in front of him. Well, minus the tank top he was still wearing; Killua still had his on as well.

"Do you trust me, Killua?" Gon crawls towards him on his hands and knees, a bright smile on his face.

_Holy fuck. How could he look so damn cute while he's naked from the waist down?!_ Killua would nod slowly, his eyes never leaving Gon.

Gon then pulls himself into Killua's lap, hovering over the ghoul's member.

"Are you sure you want this?" Killua asks, his hands coming up to hold Gon by his waist.

A light kiss was placed on his lips then and Gon nods. "I'm sure. I should be asking you if you're okay with it."

A deep breathe escapes Killua and he looks down. "It still scares me to be touched, but..."

"You trust me...right?" Gon asks, a saddened smile on his face.

Killua returns the smile with a small one of his own as he looks back up at Gon. "Hai."

With that, Gon then pushes himself onto Killua's length, a loud moan escaping his lips and a shudder passes through him, as his hands dig into Killua's shoulders.

A grunt escapes Killua, his hands clenching onto Gon's waist as he feels the warmth of him around his member.

Panting heavily, Gon buries his face into Killua's neck, his warm breathe hitting the ghoul's pale skin. "Killua..." He breathes out. "Are we going too fast?"

The albino ghoul let out a snort. "You're asking me that now?" His pale fingers trailed down to Gon's thighs, which were squishy and tan. He gently squeezes them and it seemed to be a weakness of Gon, for he let out a surprised moan, which made Killua smile slyly.

"Ngh...Killua..." Gon places his hands on Killua's chest and pushes himself away, far enough for him to look into the blue eyes of the ghoul inside him. "I love you."

Upon hearing these words, Killua freezes and he looks away, his hands releasing Gon's thighs.

"You can't love me, Gon."

"And you can't tell me how to feel, Killua."

Both males then stared at each other, their gazes serious. Finally, Killua lets out a sigh of defeat.

"I can't lose you, Gon...." The young ghoul leans his forehead against Gon's, tears starting to form in his eyes. "I can't lose you..."

Gon lifts Killua's face, cupping the pale ghoul's cheeks. "And you won't..."


	9. Human x Ghoul

"But what about Kaneki?" A tear slips down Killua's pale cheek, and Gon wipes it away with his thumb.

"What about him?"

"He'll kill you..I can't let that happen."

"And it won't." Though Gon knew Killua was right.

Killua shook his head, shifting underneath Gon, causing him to moan a little as Killua's length was still inside him. "Sorry." The pale ghoul murmurs, nuzzling against Gon affectionately and slowly moves around inside the boy.

Gon leans forward, his face buried in Killua's neck, his moans coming out softly.

"You're so cute." Killua whispers softly into his ear, Gon's scent engulfing him as he runs a tongue across the boy's pale skin, causing him to shiver. That's when Killua made up his mind to protect Gon, no matter the cost. How he was supposed to protect him 24/7 though was going to take a lot of thinking. Not to mention, strength. Killua was so deep in his thoughts about it, that he almost didn't hear Gon speak.

"Killua?"

"Hm?" Rather dazed, Killua pulls back to look into the bright brown eyes of the human boy he had fallen in love with.

"If you're ever hungry...you can feed off of me you know." Gon stared unflinchingly at him and it honestly frightened the ghoul.

"I'm never doing that again. I can't bear to hurt you anymore, Gon."

"I want you to get stronger, Killua. Please."

Killua couldn't bear to see the pleading look on Gon's face and had to advert his gaze, his eyes narrowing as he thought over it. From the last few days that he's known Gon, he knew that the boy was stubborn and wouldn't stop until he got what he wanted. "Fine." He sighs in defeat, since he had no choice.

Though the look of happiness that appeared on Gon's features after, was not something he was expecting. "Are you hungry now?" Gon was already tilting his head to the side, exposing his neck.

The temptation was too much and next thing Killua knows, is he's leaning forward and once again, piercing Gon's soft, delicate skin with his teeth. The sweet taste of the boy's blood hits his tongue, but the fact that they were having sex while he was feeding off of Gon made it...well, a bit more sexy then he realized. Releasing Gon's skin and swiping his tongue across the wound, before wiping off his lips; he places a kiss onto the area where he bit and nuzzles into the other male. "I'm sorry if it hurt you."

He felt Gon shake his head. "Mm. You didn't. It was my choice, because I want to help you."

Killua holds Gon close, his mind whirling. What did he do to deserve such a precious person in his life? He was a ghoul.

"And I want to protect you, Gon. I'm afraid to leave you alone for even a minute."

At his words, Gon immediately pulls back to beam at him. "I got an idea then! Maybe I can ask Aunt Mito if you can come live with us!"

Killua shook his head. "I'd only be putting her into danger as well as you. Plus, it'll be easier for Kaneki to get at me there."

At the look of distraught on Gon's face and Killua's heart broke. "But..." In an attempt to cheer him up, the ghoul thought of an idea. "Maybe I can talk to Mr. Yoshimura and come up with something."

The boy would immediately lighten up at that and nod. "Okay!"

The instant change of mood in Gon caused Killua to stare at him. Gon usually seemed always so happy and energetic. He was truly a wonder to the ghoul. "Geez, you're so strange."

"Huh? Why?" Gon pouts at him.

Killua just shook his head in amusement and leaned forward to kiss him, which Gon eagerly returned; wrapping his arms around the ghoul's neck.

"Mmngh." A groan escapes him as he moves himself around on Killua. "Killua..."

"Hm?" The ghoul mumbles against his lips before pulling away to look at him.

"I love you."

A redness coats Killua's cheeks and he looks away. "I love you too, Gon." And he really did.

Gon pulls Killua's face back towards him and kisses him again. "When should we talk to Mr. Yoshimura?"

"Maybe when we're done here?" The white headed male raises his thin brows at him as if it should be obvious.

A giggle passes through Gon's lips, rather cutely. "True." He grabs Killua's hands and places them at his waist. "Move me like this, okay?" He pecks the ghoul's lips before moving himself up and down on him.

Killua lets out a moan, doing as Gon instructed and moved him up and down by his waist, following his movements. This was rather refreshing; he was never in control with Kaneki. Sure, he wasn't really in control now; Gon was telling him what to do, but Killua listened to him because he wanted to, not because he was being forced to.

Thirty minutes later, both males were sweaty, and Killua had his head beneath Gon's neck, his face pressed against his chest and holding him close. Tan fingers ran through his sweat slicked white hair, and it made him sigh as he was catching his breathe.

"I think we need a bath." Gon mumbles, pulling away to rest his forehead against Killua's with a smile. "We'll look a sight if we go down like this."

The ghoul snorted. "Yeah, and I'm not in the mood to get questions thrown at me." He shifts awkwardly as Gon pulls himself off of him before scooting off of the bed. "Lets go then." He takes the boy's hand and leads him to the bathroom.

* * *

About an hour later, the both of them were clean and newly dressed, though Gon had to wear some of Killua's clothes as he didn't have extra of his own. "Won't they ask why I'm wearing your clothes?" He asks the ghoul with a frown.

"Probably, but only if Touka sees and we're not going to see her." Killua leads Gon out of his room and down the hall to where Mr. Yoshimura stayed, hoping he'd be inside. After softly knocking on the door, they hear a voice from inside, telling them to come in, so Killua opens the door and pulls Gon inside behind him.

"Killua." Mr. Yoshimura didn't seem too surprised to see them.

"Hi, Yoshimura-san." Killua began nervously, averting the old male's gaze. "We need to talk to you."

"And I you." He gestures for them to sit on the couch in the middle of the room, which they do, nervously.

"I already know what it's about." Killua spoke up, giving Gon's hand a squeeze, which Mr. Yoshimura noticed."I'm sorry for escaping and all the trouble I caused you."

"I see." Mr. Yoshimura smiles at them pleasantly. "Gon talked you around, has he? So what is it that you need to tell me?"

"It's about Kaneki. I want to protect Gon from him and any other ghoul.."

Again, Mr. Yoshimura didn't look surprised this was the decision Killua has made. "Oh? And what are you willing to do in order to protect him?"

Killua's blue eyes shine with determination as he looks Mr. Yoshimura straight on. "Anything."


	10. Aunt Mito and Gon

Killua found himself standing in a cozy looking home, with Gon leading him down a hallway and Touka following close behind.

"Wait until you meet, Mito-san!" Gon chirped and Killua hears Touka sigh loudly at this.

He hisses back at her. Though he knew why she was upset. Mr. Yoshimura had suggested Gon and Mito move to Anteiku. Which he found surprising, since it was a ghoul retreat, so how would that work? Mr. Yoshimura's words replayed back in his head.

_"They won't ever be in any danger as long as one of us is around."_

Killua supposed he could find comfort in that thought, but what about when Gon went to school?

Mr. Yoshimura had a suggestion ready for that too.

_"You can attend school with him. But you must learn to live and blend in with the humans, if you truly want to protect him."_

Of course he did, but to convince Gon's Aunt Mito for them to just uproot their life and move to a small apartment over a ghoul café would be quite the challenge.

"What you think she'll say when you...tell her you want to move?" Killua asked him as they stop in the middle of a living room, though he immediately fell silent went he saw a woman sitting at the kitchen table in the kitchen, who looks up upon their entrance.

"Gon?" She looked pleasantly surprised. "Who are your...friends?"

"Mito-san! I didn't know you were home! This is Killua and Touka!" Gon gestures towards them and Killua averts his gaze from her when she turned towards him. "They're my friends."

"As if..." Touka hisses under her breathe and Killua turns to glare at her. "What?" She turns away from him. "You may like him, but I don't. I'm here against my own will, remember?"

"Just shut up okay?" He growls at her and she was about to retort back when Mito approaches them.

"Well, it's nice to meet you both." She offered them a tentative smile and held out her hand, which Killua took nervously and shook it once before she suddenly pulled him into a hug, taking him by surprise and causing him to stiffen. Over her shoulder, Gon smiles in encouragement at him and the ghoul manages to loosen up slightly.

"Any friend of Gon's is welcome here." She sounded almost tearful and that's when Killua realized that she really was crying. He didn't understand why, but he guessed maybe Gon didn't have many friends if any.

Once she released him, he took a few steps back and averts his gaze, blushing slightly. Touka rolled her eyes and that's when Mito turned towards her and smiled at her cautiously, noticing the tension she held. "It's nice to meet you too, Touka." She says gently and Touka turns away, a slight color appearing on her own cheeks, but it faded quickly.

"So what's this about, Gon?" The woman asked, turning her attention back to her nephew, who had begun to bounce up and down, unable to keep the news to himself any longer.

"I found you a job, Mito-san!" Gon exclaimed, blurting it out as soon as the question left his aunt's lips.

Mito looked slightly taken aback by the sudden outburst of news. "A job?"

Gon nodded so vigorously that it looked like it would hurt.

Caramel eyes identical to Gon's own, would glisten with tears, and Mito would turn away, wiping at the corners frantically. "How did you know?" She asked quietly.

Gon blinked. "How did I know what?"

"How did you know that I lost my job?"

Killua watched this exchange in confusion, Touka beside him looking utterly bored, though ears were perked in interest.

"You lost your...job?" Gon asked slowly, eyes fixated on Mito's back as she was still turned away. "I didn't know that. Is that why you were here?"

She nodded, turning back to face him. "And rent is due and we have no money coming in so this news is..." Again, her eyes would glisten and Gon finally notices, immediately heading over to her and wrapping his arms around her middle.

"Shhh. It's okay, Mito-san. This place, they'll let us live there! There's apartments above the café! Not as big as this, but affordable."

Killua wasn't sure if it was just luck or a coincidence, but everything seemed to be working in their favor

"Really?" The woman looked surprised and would look down at Gon. "Café you said? What's it called?"

"Anteiku."

"I've seen it before." Mito would nod. "And you said they'll give me a job and a place to live? That's...generous. But Gon..." Her lips would tug down into a frown. "I'll need to meet the owner first. It just seems too good to be true."

"Of course!" The boy would chirp, instantly turning to face Killua and Touka, and Mito follows his gaze. "Killua and Touka live and work there too! They're close with the owner!"

This would cause the pair of them to look in opposite directions in embarrassment, faces becoming flushed.

"Really?" Mito furrows her brows in concern. "What about their parents?"

Neither of them spoke and that was enough to verify to Mito that they were orphans.

"Well." She began pleasantly, as if trying to shift the conversation to a less awkward and depressing topic. "Is the owner available to meet me today?"

"Sure." Killua finally spoke, rather stiffly. "We can take you now if you want."

"Let me just grab my coat." She would then walk off and while she was gone, Touka elbowed the younger ghoul in the ribs.

"Ow! What the hell?" He'd hiss, immediately rounding on her.

"Why did you offer to take her?!"

"Well isn't that what we came to do?!" He rolled his eyes. "Christ."

"I'm sorry for the trouble, Touka." Gon would immediately speak up, fixing the ghoul girl in a concerned gaze.

"Tch." She'd turn away and say nothing.

"Okay, I'm ready." Mito returned, now wearing a coat and grabbed her purse from where she had it on the couch and smiles at them. "Lead the way."

* * *

The walk to Anteiku was spent in silence, minus Gon , who was talking lightly with Killua as Mito trailed behind them and smiling fondly at the pair, while Touka was up front, leading the group, her eyes unnoticeably darting every which way for any signs of danger.

Finally, upon reaching the café, the group would enter to find Mr. Yoshimura standing behind the counter as if he was expecting them.

"Ah." He began with a smile. "You must be Gon's mother."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here it is, the long awaited update for this book. i had gone back to reread it before updating and i cringed at how awful it is. i began writing this before my writing got a bit more decent so i'm surprised you all like this trash i put out, lol. glad you do though. i promise i'll try to improve with each new chapter! enjoy this one for now until the next update! xoxoxo


	11. Can A Ghoul Really Live Among Humans?

"I'm not his mother exactly." Mito would admit, a flush creeping up her cheeks until Gon nudged her.

"She's a mother to me." He'd declare. "So that's what she is."

Mito's eyes glistened with tears, causing Touka to scoff loudly. "Well, I'm out of here." She waved a hand to them all before disappearing upstairs.

Killua just rolled his eyes before returning his focus on the Freecss pair before him.

Mr. Yoshimura just smiled pleasantly before speaking. "Well, have you ever worked in a café before?"

"Sort of." Mito admitted with reluctance. "But I promise you, I'll learn quickly."

"I have no doubt that you will." He responded, before moving from behind the counter and making for the door that led upstairs. "Let me show you to your living quarters."

Mito looked hesitant before Gon gave her an encouraging push from behind to get her moving and both he and Killua trailed after them.

"Thank you, by the way Killua." Gon began, wanting to express his gratitude to the teenage ghoul.

Killua sniffed, turning his face slightly to the side. "You should be thanking Mr. Yoshimura, not me." Though a faint pinkish tint to his pale cheeks gave away the fact that Gon's words embarrassed him.

This made Gon chortle quietly before he slipped his hand into Killua's and gave it a squeeze, causing the ghoul to jolt in surprise.

"What're you doing?!" He'd hiss, cerulean eyes darting to the two adults ahead of him just as they reached the top of the landing.

"Relax." Gon laughed. He'd release his hand after, not wanting to make Killua uncomfortable, just as Aunt Mito spoke.

"Um, Mr. Yoshimura, forgive me for asking, but, this is awfully generous of you to just give me a job and a place to live...is there a catch?"

"No catch." The elderly ghoul replied, pleasant smile still on his features. "We are not a charity of course, but I can't deny someone in need and Killua is very fond of Gon, so he vouched for you."

When Mito's kind eyes fell upon him, Killua jumped slightly and down cast his eyes towards the ground, shuffling his feet in embarrassment.

"Of course, you took the last available room, but I'm sure you'll work hard for your stay here."

"Oh, I will!" Mito assured him, and he'd nod.

"Then I'll have Killua and another one of my employees help you with your moving."

"My, so soon?" She'd ask, taken aback by the sudden arrival to this.

"The sooner the better, Ms. Freecss."

This made Mito blush. "Just Mito is fine."

He'd laugh lightly before opening the door to the small apartment and Mito would head inside to take a look.

"So when do you go to school anyways?" Killua asked suddenly of Gon as the pair entered the room.

"Oh." Gon looked rather sheepish as he responded. "I haven't been going the last few days because I been worried about you."

Killua had to resist the urge to slap him. "Are you serious?" His tone was thunderous, but quiet at the same time.

"Well...yeah." Gon didn't look ashamed about it. "Plus, Mito-San has been worried about the recent ghoul attacks, so that's also partly why I stayed away from school."

"Then you should've stayed home, moron." Killua hissed, though he couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt at the mention of recent ghoul attacks. Surely he didn't mean the ones he caused, did he? Shaking his head, deciding that wasn't the case, he heard Mito talking with Mr. Yoshimura ahead.

"Great. Then it's settled. I'll have Killua fetch Koma and Yomo so you can all get started moving."

* * *

It took several hours, although Mito and Gon didn't have as many things as Killua thought, and some went into storage until they could figure out what to do with it. By the time they finished, it was dark out, and they were thankful they finished before night befell them, as that was when ghouls mostly prospered.

"Guess I'll organize the rest tomorrow." Mito broke the silence that had spread as she, Gon and Killua busied themselves with unpacking boxes. "I should have time before my evening shift tomorrow."

"You're starting already?" Gon asked in surprise, though it didn't surprise Killua, as he too had started the day after he had moved in.

"Mhm. Will you be going to school tomorrow Gon? Mr. Yoshimura asked me to register Killua for him in the morning."

"Then in that case, of course I'll go! I have to help Killua!" He'd chirp, gazing brightly over at the albino teen who looked quickly away as both pairs of eyes focused on him.

"That reminds me, Killua..." Mito started hesitantly. "Aren't you a little too young to have a job?"

"Well, my parents are dead so I have to do something to survive." He'd respond, a little too coldly that it made the woman flinch and he'd sigh. "I'm sorry."

"No, my apologies. I did intrude and ask a sensitive question."

Killua would simply nod, as he dusted himself off, his mood changing as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. "I'll head off to bed then." Just as he stepped out into the hall, Gon stopped him with a grab to his arm.

"Killua, wait..."

"I'm sorry for snapping at your aunt, Gon. I'm just beginning to wonder if going to school with you is a good idea."

"Well...you wanted to protect me didn't you?" Gon asks this almost accusingly.

"Of course I do." Killua flinched, quickly glancing over Gon's shoulder to see if Mito was eavesdropping and that's when Gon got the hint and shut the door behind him and pulled Killua farther down the hall. "But I'm a ghoul. Can I really fit in with humans?"

"Of course you can!" Gon almost shouted, but lowered his voice halfway through. "I know you can."

"I'm not so sure, Gon..."

"If you ever get hungry," he'd cut in. "You could always feed off of me."

"I'm not doing that anymore, Gon." Killua would reply tersely. "So stop offering me." He'd pull his arm out of Gon's grasp. "You wouldn't understand because you're not a ghoul. You don't know what it's like; the fear we have to live with every day."

Now it was Gon's turn to flinch. "Then help me understand..." He wasn't sure what caused the ghoul's change in mood and he reached out for his hand, only to have it pulled away from him.

"Please, Gon. I know...I know we did things earlier, but I'm still afraid to be touched." His eyes began to glisten with tears. He hated this. He hated the fact that because of Kaneki, he was too afraid to allow Gon to get much closer to him than he already was. "I just need to be alone tonight, okay? I'll see you tomorrow."

Those words shattered Gon's heart and he watched achingly as the ghoul walked away from him and disappeared into his own room.

Neither of them noticed someone watching them from the shadows of the hallway.

* * *

As much as it pained Killua to utter those words to Gon after what they did just hours ago, and after promising to protect him no matter what, he needed time alone to gather his thoughts and prepare for tomorrow. Mr. Yoshimura had told him he must learn to pretend to eat human food and briefly showed him how. Now it was the young ghoul's turn to try it on his own.

He had to succeed if he wanted to live among the humans with Gon.

_Everything is for Gon now. Everything I do._ He realized, a mixture of bitterness and love in his thoughts. Killua didn't know how to feel about it. He loved Gon, but he wasn't sure if he was completely happy about it just yet. He blamed Kaneki for that too, his inability to love sincerely and wholly.

A knock at his door interrupted his thoughts and he sighed with impatience. "Who is it?" He growled, ambling over to the door.

"It's me, asshole. Open up." It was Touka's voice that sounded from the other side.

_Great. Just what I need._ Nevertheless, Killua opened up the door to reveal the female glaring at him.

"Come with me."


	12. Bright Pink Hair

"So where are we going exactly?" Killua grumbles as he trails after Touka, who led him down some stairs and an ominous feeling fills his gut.

_She's not finally going to kill me, is she?_

His fingers twitch inside his pockets, as if anticipating an attack.

"Somewhere private."

"What the hell for?!"

"It's nothing like that, you perv!"

"I wasn't even thinking like that!"

Touka grumbles a string of curse words under her breathe in annoyance. "Just shut up. We're almost there."

Aiming a glare at her back, Killua just trudges on down the stairs until they reached an open space, rather large, and he realized they were beneath the city.

"Are you planning to kill me? Because if you are, I'm not going down without a fight."

"No, you idiot. I'm going to train you."

Killua raises his eyebrows in surprise. "Train me? You?"

Touka sighs loudly. "Yes. Believe it or not...I trained Kaneki down here. He's wasn't always...like that.."

This was news to him. "You mean he was...?"

"Pathetic like you? He was, once upon a time."

Killua glares at her icily. "I'm leaving."

"Do what you want, but know this, if you can't defend yourself from him-"

"Is this more for you or for me?"

Her eyes narrow. "What do you mean?"

"Never mind." He mutters. "Can we just get on with it?"

She cracks her knuckles. "If you're trying to conclude that I'm jealous, you're in for an ass kicking."

Killua laughs, stretching out his arms until he hears a pop. "Pretty sure you're easier to deal with than he is."

"Don't underestimate me." Touka growls, immediately dashing at him before she even finishes speaking.

Killua jolted and made to dodge, but the kick she ended up sending out got him in the ribs and he fell back with a choked noise emitting from his throat just as he fell onto the ground. He was still not at full capacity, as he had just started eating regularly again.

"Pathetic." Touka spit out, looming over him. "Just like he is."

A growl would rumble in Killua's throat as he slowly regained his composure and stood up, immediately on the defensive when she sent out another kick before he could fully straighten himself up, and Killua managed to block it with his arms, only taking a small blunt of it that pushed him back a few feet.

"Come on!" She yelled out, clearly trying to provoke him with her taunting. "Use your kagune like you should've done with that human boy toy of yours."

Blue eyes twitching angrily as they slowly turn red, Killua's kagune slithers out from his back.

"That's better. I knew that would get a rise out of you."

* * *

About a couple hours later, Killua collapses on his bed face first, completely spent and exhausted, not to mention bruised up and slightly bloody. Just when he felt like he could pass out, a soft knock at his door interrupted him.

"Um, Killua?" It was Gon.

He'd stiffen, before sitting up slowly. They hadn't spoken since their talk earlier and he clenched his fists nervously. He wasn't sure if he was ready to face Gon just yet. Nevertheless, with a sigh, he stood up and ambled over to the door. When he opened it, there was Gon, small smile on his face. It pained the ghoul to see it after what he told him earlier.

Though that smile would soon fade from Gon's face when he noticed the condition that Killua was in. "Killua! What happened to you?!"

"Oh, this?" Killua looked down at his dirtied up and bloody clothes with indifference and shrugged. "Touka was training me how to fight earlier."

"Training you how to fight?" Gon echoed slowly. "But why?"

Killua sighs. "I have to learn to protect myself, Gon. And you. Remember? My combat skills suck apparently. All I do is attack wildly with my kagune. I don't know coordination. According to Touka." He grimaced. "I'll heal up. It'll just take awhile until my regular eating habits get back to normal."

Furrowing his brows, Gon took Killua's words in quietly. "Are you hungry?" He eventually asked.

"I already told you, didn't I, Gon?"

"Yeah, but..."

A pale hand is held up to silence him. "Just no."

Though Gon's scent was taunting him, more so when it looked like the boy just got out of the shower. "But why are you here?"

A hurt expression flickered over Gon's caramel eyes as he walked passed Killua and into his room without invitation. "I wanted to check up on you after our talk from earlier."

Killua shut the door and turned to gape at him. "I was the one who said awful things to you, and you're checking to see if _I'm_ okay?"

"Well, yeah." Gon shrugged. "I don't see what's wrong with that."

_This boy is just unbelievable._ Killua scoffed in his mind. "Well I'm just peachy, especially when Touka just gave me an ass kicking."

Concerned, Gon approaches him. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. I'll just wash up and get something to...erm...eat, then call it a night. Have to go to school with you tomorrow, don't I?"

Seemingly distracted, Gon nods his head vigorously, excitement now clear in his bright eyes. "Yeah, I can't wait!"

While Gon was looking forward to it, Killua was dreading it.

"Then you should probably rest up too." With his job at Anteiku, school with Gon and training with Touka, Killua's days and free time were pretty much filled, and he glowered. _If I wasn't given free food, going hunting would've been a problem._

"You have to wear a uniform by the way. Us first years wear grey and green." Gon mentioned with a chirp as Killua led him over to the door.

"Great." He grumbled. "Looking forward to it." _Not._

"We'll have a few pairs for you in the morning." Gon slightly stood up on his tiptoes to peck Killua on the lips, much to the ghoul's surprise. The way Gon was able to forgive him so easily for their talk from earlier astounded him. That, and he was increasingly stubborn and wasn't about to give up on Killua.

"See you in the morning then, Gon." He mumbles and the raven head would wave before heading back to his own room.

Double locking the door behind him, Killua went around his room, making sure every window was boarded up and checking to see if there was any secret entrances, like a vent in the ceiling.

When he was satisfied with the thought that there was no way Kaneki could come in, he shut off the light before heading to the bathroom to wash up.

By this time, his wounds from his earlier fight from Touka had pretty much healed and as he stood under the stream of hot water from the shower, he let his thoughts drift to the following day.

_It'll be hard, constantly being around so much people, and stuck in a room with them. Not to mention their scent...and Gon's._

Frowning, Killua began to wash his hair. _How does Touka even do it?_ Despite his annoyance and hatred towards the purple haired ghoul, Killua admired her will and strength to be able to go to college and deal with humans constantly.

When he was satisfied, he'd step out of the shower and dried off before dressing into shorts and a turtle neck, his usual attire, before ambling over to his bed and crawling beneath the warmth of the covers, forgetting to eat. It would be the first night in a long time where he'd actually be able to sleep comfortably, instead of being abused and raped by Kaneki. It was a relief, though he knew he couldn't let his guard down just yet. He had no way of knowing that the white haired ghoul was just outside, on the roof of an adjacent building, watching his boarded up windows with malice.

* * *

The next morning, Killua woke up to find a bag outside his door and saw the horrid school uniforms when he looked inside.

"Well here goes nothing." He mutters, heading back into his room to put one on.

After observing himself in the mirror for several long seconds, his nose wrinkled up and a look of utter disdain makes its home on his features. "This is worse than I thought."

A knock at the door and a chirpy voice interrupts him and when he opens it, he sees Gon bouncing up and down on his feet in excitement. How the boy sported so much energy this early in the morning, he didn't know.

"I just need to eat breakfast. I'll see you downstairs."

"Take your time." Killua responded and Gon would grin before dashing back to his room and the pale ghoul shook his head in amusement.

Grabbing his bag, he'd head downstairs after locking his door and saw the early risers already enjoying some coffee.

"Morning, Killua-kun." Yoshimura greeted him with a pleasant smile, and Killua would give him a small wave as he set his bag down on a stool.

"Yo."

The sound of the bell going off, announcing the arrival of a new customer interrupts them and when Killua turns to see who it is, his eyes widened and he immediately stiffened, heart practically in his throat.

"Oya, oya, I love the smell of coffee early in the morning." Thin hands run through pink hair as the newcomer turns to face the frightened face of Killua.

"Killua-kun...it's been awhile."

Killua gulped. "H-Hisoka."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sup *peace sign*


End file.
